i turn 30 on sunday. that means i’ve lived three decades. i find it a little sad when i was little i couldnt wait to grow up. one of my favourite games was dressing up in mum’s Ferregamo pumps, painting my face with her make up, drowning myself in her perfume and pretending to be a librarian or a check-out chick because those were the coolest jobs.
i had crushes on boys in primary school and married the cutest boy in my year level, by meeting him out the front of the school chapel and holding hands for 5 seconds. i loved punching the ATM keys for mum and couldnt wait to have my own money coming out of a hole on the wall. i used to practice kissing by pashing myself on the mirror.
we should really tell children more, to take their time, that there’s no rush. i find it sad when i see 14 year olds sounding like fake-adults with all the attitude and abbreviated speech and push-up bras, never having heard of Sesame Street or never having seen My Girl. seriously? WHERE’S HIS GLASSES!? HE CANT SEE WITHOUT HIS GLASSES!!! oh, the loss.
then i think about growing up in the 80s and 90s and realise i had possibly the best era for youth. it was pre-internet but there was modem dial-up. so that meant we had Encyclopedias and books that you can still breathe in and books that you had to look for in libraries. which meant we had more quiet. everywhere, there were more chances to be still, and stay quiet.
it was pre-iTunes but we had Michael when he was still black, cassette tapes, and recording on them with the push-stop-push of the record and stop button, and giving them to people as gifts. as declarations of love.
it was pre-facebook and Twitter and our phones were 2D and the only game it had on it was Snake. which also meant we had to actually have conversations to know people. we had Fresh Prince, and all the other songs that came with him. we played outside and ate dirt and our parents didn’t call 000.
after school, when we’d get home, we’d smell like earth and sun.
aaanyway. it was good. it makes me smile thinking about it. and im thankful.
i found this though, which a friend sent to me. this also made me smile. apparently this was first published in ’97 in a US magazine and women loved it so much it became a book.
All of which incredibly true. Although i need to go out there apparently, and buy myself a cordless drill.
By 30, you should have …
1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
4. A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.
5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.
6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age — and some money set aside to help fund it.
8. An email address, a voice mailbox, and a bank account — all of which nobody has access to but you.
9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
13. The belief that you deserve it.
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better.
By 30, you should know …
1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.
2. How you feel about having kids.
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
6. The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmothers, and the best tailor in town.
7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
8. Where to go — be it your best friend’s kitchen table or a yoga mat — when your soul needs soothing.
9. That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents.
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long.
13. Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.
15. Why they say life begins at 30